Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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