i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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