I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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