So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
