Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
