After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
