in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
