You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
