No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
