u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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