There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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