You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
