TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
