RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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