i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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