Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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