the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
