I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
