she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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