What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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