Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
