Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
