You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
