...so i touched it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
