Joe is yelling at the trees again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
