I'll bet she douches with gravy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
