I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
