I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
