Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
