So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
