Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
