There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Vodka?
Forever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
