What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
