I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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