New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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