it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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