do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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