I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
