This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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