Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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