I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
