David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
