Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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