I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
