is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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