the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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