I CAN MOONWALK!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
