So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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