Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
