there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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