D3 body, D1 cock
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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