i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
