LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Randomize
