I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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