so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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